Should I die, this blog will serve as my son's source of virtual mama.

If I live, I won't have to repeat myself.

sigers writes fiction and nags her son in austin, texas. 

I want you to know that I am figuring out what a 'we' looks like.

My sisters and brother and I are now this newly formed unit. WE. We are going to do things. Right after my father died, it was blowing my mind that WE could be called upon to do things together.


Like all this time we had been one cohesive, nuclear family unit instead of a bunch of electrons.

Our first task was the funeral. To just be present. And we did it. For the first time EVER, all eight of us were in the same room together. 

Even your aunt Shae who had had her first baby the day after Joe died. I have to tell you that this wouldn’t have been possible for me, as I had gone and sprained my vagina. I would have had to ichat the funeral. So I am in awe that she arrived, upright, with husband and baby in tow.

Our second task as brothers and sisters has been materializing slowly over the past few days.


The second task is to remember what ‘we’ used to look like. Then figure out what it could look like tomorrow. 

What happens without our dad in the picture to hold us, however loosely, together?

I want you to know that you never know what the last conversation will sound like.