Should I die, this blog will serve as my son's source of virtual mama.

If I live, I won't have to repeat myself.

sigers writes fiction and nags her son in austin, texas. 

I want you to know that I know where I end and you begin.

Do you understand how bad I want you to speak Spanish? To just open your mouth and be as sure with another language as you are with your mother tongue? I have struggled with Spanish my entire adult life, trying a class here and there.

The best thing that ever happened was two weeks in Buenos Aires with no one to speak English with. I knew my Spanish had taken a leap when I had a political discussion in a taxi. It was only a matter of time before I could join a dice game.

But I came home and promptly lost it. But things could be different for you. If I START you in a daycare where they ONLY speak Spanish, you would be able to lead your mama around Havana and buy me lottery tickets.

But I moved you from a fancy Spanish Immersion to a Montessori.  Because I started to see that your independence would be celebrated there. It would be used to guide you into learning on your own. At the Immersion school, that independent streak was only getting you into trouble. 

But I’m not here to live my dream. I’m here to live your dream. Whether you want to be outstanding in engineering or creative writing or hairdressing or social work. That’s all fine with me. My dream is that you be outstanding at something.

You started piano lessons two weeks ago. And we practice every day.

I want you to know when you shouldn't play it.

I want you to know that I'm still here.