Should I die, this blog will serve as my son's source of virtual mama.

If I live, I won't have to repeat myself.

sigers writes fiction and nags her son in austin, texas. 

I want you to read David Foster Wallace's Kenyon commencement speech.

Don’t attempt it before your own commencement, though. I can’t imagine 
that you will be in the mood to receive the message before then. If, 
for some reason, you do not go to college (!) then I know two things 
for sure. One, I am dead. Two, if you are eighteen and this address 
means nothing to you? You probably need to go to college. Go to Europe 
or Cuba for a year, then come back and go to college.

Anyway, I am imagining you reading this with your cap and gown and 
honors thingies in the background. This is an excerpt I found on the 

“Because here’s something else that’s true. In the day-to-day trenches 
of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no 
such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we 
get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some 
sort of God or spiritual-type thing to worship – be it J.C. or Allah, 
be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or 
some infrangible set of ethical principles – is that pretty much 
anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and 
things – if they are where you tap real meaning in life – then you 
will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. 
Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always 
feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million 
deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this 
stuff already – it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, 
bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The 
trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship 
power – you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more 
power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, 
being seen as smart – you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always 
on the verge of being found out. And so on.

Look, the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that 
they’re evil or sinful; it is that they are unconscious. They are 
default-settings. They’re the kind of worship you just gradually slip 
into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you 
see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that 
that’s what you’re doing. And the world will not discourage you from 
operating on your default-settings, because the world of men and money 
and power hums along quite nicely on the fuel of fear and contempt and 
frustration and craving and the worship of self. Our own present 
culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded 
extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom to 
be lords of our own tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of 
all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of 
course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is 
most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside 
world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important 
kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and 
effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to 
sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, 
every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, 
the default-setting, the "rat race” – the constant gnawing sense of 
having had and lost some infinite thing.“

After I read this section, I totally took all the celeb gossip sites 
off of my bookmarks. As I thought of it again, I got very serious 
about finding some volunteer work. Each time I read it, it inspires me 
to be a better person than I was the day before. And that is what I 
want for you, my little Fuzzle-Butts. I want to leave you things that 
inspire and help you be a better man than you were the day before.

I want you to appreciate the right now.

I want you to understand your hair.