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Should I die, this blog will serve as my son's source of virtual mama.

If I live, I won't have to repeat myself.

sigers writes fiction and nags her son in austin, texas. 

I want you to understand your hair.

At some point, you will require a little guidance concerning the hair 
growing on your head. Your father would like you to keep as much as 
you can for as long as you can – many of your male relatives lost 
their crowning glory in their early twenties. Although I’d rather cut 
it all low, there are some things I’m going to let him take the lead 
on.

He does not, however, have the greatest sense of managing all that 
hair you’re about to grow. I, on the other hand, have had about thirty 
years of misadventures with the EXACT texture that is sprouting out of 
your head. The only one that knows more is my father – your 
grandfather. But don’t listen to him, he had a Jheri-Curl. For no good 
reason. A bit of water and activator would have given him the same 
results, more or less.

If you comb it dry? It will frizz. And look like regular afro-textured 
hair. You can rock a J5 afro with the best of them. Well sorta. It 
won’t be the thickest thing around. You might get a nice Bone Tugs 
droop, though.

If you wet it, add moisturizer of some sort (Pink Oil Moisturizer, 
Baby Oil Gel) and THEN comb it? Your hair will make tight spiraled 
coils. They will be determined to spring straight up on your head.

Now if you’d like to get them to be looser or lie down, you’re going 
to have to help it. Wet and add your moisturizer and give it a hard 
brushing into a ponytail or a braid or a two strand twist. That will 
give you waves close to the head and the braid will persuade the coils 
to wave instead of go SPROING! A ponytail will give you little bitty 
coils at the end. Do that at night to get the results you want in the 
morning.

Now you may be too testosterone driven to learn to braid. But I have 
faith that your vanity will prevail.

In the event that this blog isn’t enough instruction, I want you to 
call your Godmother Serene. She has been through the hair wars and has 
come out the other side like a champ. She knows how to use the weight 
of her hair to wrassle some sense into some pretty determined curls. 
She’ll know what to do for you. And she will call you a Baby Panda. 
Even if you are 27.

I want you to read David Foster Wallace's Kenyon commencement speech.

'Round and 'Round the ... POP!