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Should I die, this blog will serve as my son's source of virtual mama.

If I live, I won't have to repeat myself.

sigers writes fiction and nags her son in austin, texas. 

I want you to wait on body mods.

This is allllllll Richard Boadu’s fault.

So long ago I asked the president of the ad agency I worked for if I could get a lip piercing.  The answer was no. She suggested that I get a piercing … uh … down below? In my woman parts? Something that wouldn’t be seen by the client. I found this uproariously funny and not in the least offensive. Which is why I’m in advertising and not in a convent.

A little later, the chairman of the agency had one of those, “Let’s Go To Dinner and Talk About What You Think I Should Do With The Agency” dinners. I could write you an entire entry on why this is a totally bad thing to do with creatives. In any case, he never did it again. Partially because I asked for a dog and a tongue piercing. He said yes to the latter.

So I got one. the president and the ECD were out of town, and by the time they came back, I had sold work to a major client. Too late to complain.

Today, holes in your face are no big deal. 

So I want you to know that I will understand your confusion when I tell you that you surely won’t be getting tattoos or piercings of any kind while you live with me.  Nor will you have any while I’m paying for your room and board. If you see any? I will remove them. With pliers.

Coming from a mom with a belly, lip and tongue piercings, PLUS tattoos, this is going to seem nutty, but I want you to wait.

Now a certain copywriter that I know wants a grill.

If I have at all raised you well? You’re wondering why ANYONE would want yellow teeth. Well, son, people are crazy. And so is Richard.

But in reality? People look at me and say, WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT A METAL POST THROUGH THEIR TONGUE? She’s crazy.

But Muffins, I just want you to wait until you understand how the world sees these things. Decide how much you want to rebel. I chose a rebellion that turned into just being in the vanguard. Now, lots of creatives have piercings.

I can guarantee that gold grills will remain the territory of people who are okay proclaiming I AM GHETTO without saying a word. Which has a place in life. And that place is on the hip hop charts And mamas don’t let their babies grow up to be rappers. Not on purpose.

On the other hand, Richard is grown enough to have people purchasing advertising on his blog. He is also a successful copywriter at a fancy agency. So because I do not pay his room and board, grill on. 

But when you want to try your hand at it, ask yourself if your mother is footing most of your bills. If yes, ask yourself how comfortable you are with your mother biting an eyebrow ring out of your face. If that makes you the least bit weirded out? Wait a few years. Your face will still be there, and so will that piercing studio.

I want you to know that sometimes I am kinda funny looking.